Hampton Roads chefs take to the parking lot for trash-talking food battles

Ralph Clayton Anderson was proud of his meat.

For his pastrami sandwich, the chef and co-owner of Clayton’s Counter Delicatessen had sliced up the pastrami himself, brined it and smoked it for hours the night before, heating it all back up over a gas burner in the parking lot of Virginia Beach’s J&K Style Grill on Monday morning. He detailed the process with self-evident joy.

But his competition wasn’t having it.

“You don’t want his old meat!” yelled Carlton Peterson of F.O.O.L. Catering, while pressing down meatball patties onto his flat-top grill. “He brought old meat, and I’m out here cooking!”

Meanwhile, Anderson’s sliced watermelons and house-made pickle sides were derided as fruit at a sandwich contest. Might as well be spoons at a gunfight.

Peterson wasn’t just being mean. On that sun-baked parking lot, shade was part of the game.

On Mondays throughout the summer, popular wing-and-burger spot J&K Style Grill is playing host to a series of parking lot battles among area chefs. And alongside food presentation and taste, “trash talkin” is one of the categories: Talk more smack, win more points with the judges.

But at the gourmet sandwich battle on Monday, Anderson just didn’t seem to have trash talk in his repertoire — leaving F.O.O.L. to dominate the category with a cheery and constant one-way diss track.

“This man here is the worst!” said emcee Michael LeMelle about Peterson. “He will talk trash about you, your cooking, your mama. He don’t even care. But if he gets in your mind, that’s how you lose!”

It’s all in good fun, of course — right down to a boxing-style face-off in which the chefs mug threateningly at each other with spatulas in hand.

The idea came to J&K co-owner Kelvin Dooley after an impromptu food battle of his own in May. His opponent was a guy named Wayne Brown, aka Rico Papa.

“He’s always on Facebook talking about how he’s got the best shrimp tacos out there,” Dooley said. “He reached out to me and said he wanted to battle.”

Dooley was more than game. He even brought in a camera crew to document the challenge. But he figured the battle would take place inside his restaurant. When he showed up, he found Rico Papa setting up in the parking lot instead.

“He said, ‘Let’s take it to the parking lot!’” Dooley said. “And the way he said it, it was like, ‘Man, this reminds me of when I was in high school.’ When I had issues with someone, we went to the parking lot after school. That’s what the feeling was. … And it was all fun and love, but it was a lot of trash talk.”

When it was over, Dooley saw the potential for a series of parking lot battles. He and his family — his wife and partner, LaTonya, and youngest daughter, Keona — set about pulling together a schedule of food fights.

Each battle was filmed, and the Dooleys brought in sponsors. Distributor US Foods donated some ingredients. Popular influencer Yummo Bucko signed on as both judge and broadcaster. Design company Innovative Twist made T-shirts: “Chef’s Edition. Battle me if you dare.”

Chefs from as far away as D.C. and Maryland have called, wanting in on the food battles. The calendar is quickly filling in, including a grilled cheese battle between teens — scheduled for July 12 at Military Circle mall in Norfolk. The cooking will take place in the parking lot, but the judging will happen in an indoor boxing ring.

Producer and performer Michael LeMelle signed on to emcee the proceedings, with a deep and booming voice that needs no microphone. LeMelle also lent some personal flair: At the gourmet sandwich battle, he arrived in a precariously raised Chevy Caprice, wearing a smart brimmed hat and a hazard-orange dashiki with matching shoes. (Not to be outdone, one of the judges rolled up in a three-wheeled Polaris Slingshot.)

LeMelle moved quietly around the lot until the competition began at 10 a.m., conferring with chefs. But when the camera turned on, so did he.

“Here we are again, here’s the host with the most, the name you know, Michael LeMelle, coming at you live and in living color,” he boomed. “The only thing missing here is you. Get on down here to the J&K Style parking lot for PAAAARRRKKINNGG LOT BAAAAAAATTTLLLES!”

In one corner, here was Clayton’s Counter. In the other, Fruits of Our Labor catering, otherwise known as F.O.O.L.

And they were off — documented by nearly as many cameras as people. The scrum around each chef was as intense as at any statehouse press conference: digital cameras, TV news cameras, phones held out in the universal pose of the Facebook livestream.

But even that scene, Dooley said, reminds him of the playground.

“It looked like high school kids when a fight’s about to happen,” he said. “They’ve got their phones out so they know they won’t miss it.”

The crowd of cameras ping-ponged between chefs, with the occasional catcall from the other corner as each chef described his foods.

Anderson declared the majesty of his house-made barbecue and Speedy’s mustard sauces, on piled-high pastrami sandwiches whose buns were emblazoned with the shop’s C.C. brand.

Peterson opted to split his efforts between two sandwiches. The first was a meatball Italian with ham and fresh basil, served with a marinara dipper. The second was a po’boy-style hoagie with seasoned and deep-fried salmon.

Trash was talked. Meat blazed on the grill. Sun blazed on necks. Whatever lucky bystanders showed up to the parking lot scored tickets for full-sized sandwiches, for a mere $2 apiece.

And then the plates were off to the judges, who were every bit as chatty as the contestants.

Peterson won on trash talk, as expected. Anderson’s towering pastrami, served with equally gargantuan pickles, handily won for presentation.

All that was left was “taste,” and the panel was split.

Jemmalyn Hewlett of WeCare Salon Cafe couldn’t stop praising Clayton’s pastrami. That is, until she finally swooned for good over Peterson’s salmon.

Chef James Francis III of Royal Court Gourmet Hot Dogs had been a contestant the previous week when he was barely edged out by Kelvin Dooley. This week, with his judge hat on, he came down hard in favor of Peterson’s Italian sammy — calling it Christmas and his birthday rolled up into one.

Yummo Bucko declared all foods “yummo” and “bucko,” his voice squeezing up an octave from the strain of the decision between them. Fellow judge Brian Vaughn considered long and carefully, then opted for the juicy and smoky beefiness of Clayton’s pastrami.

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But in the end, it was Peterson who edged his way into a victory. The move to divide his efforts between two sandwiches had perhaps paid off.

And suddenly, all smack-talking was over.

“This smoked flavor in the meat, though!” declared Peterson, while trying his competitor’s plate. “I like this. This smoke is for real.” Anderson, still chewing, nodded his own approval of Peterson’s plate.

“It’s about supporting local,” Anderson said after the battle. At a different contest, he’s already looking forward to a future burger fight against his former employers at Virginia Beach’s Repeal Bourbon and Burgers.

“We talk a lot of trash,” said emcee LeMelle, signing off. “But it’s all about love.”

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Follow the Parking Lot Battles and see the schedule at facebook.com/JKStylesGrill. The next battle is 10 a.m. Monday at J&K Style Grill, 6557 College Park Square, Virginia Beach, 757-965-4783. Chefs from My Mama’s Kitchen, Ryan’s Steaks & Cakes and La Cucina di Sophia will compete to make the best cheesesteak. Food tickets are $2 a plate for the general public.