Families and victims of Virginia Beach mass shooting still looking for closure 2 years after the tragedy

Virginia Beach — Memorial Day weekend marks two years since a gunman killed 12 people at a city government building in Virginia Beach.

For the workers and families impacted by the tragedy, the time since has been excruciatingly difficult, said Sarah Gayle Leonard, the daughter of one of the victims.

“The first year for me and many of my family members, we were in shock,” Gayle Leonard said. “We couldn’t even process what had occurred.”

But on Friday, Gayle Leonard said she began her path to closure alongside family and friends as they dedicated a 1-acre oyster reef to her mother, Mary Louise Crutsinger Gayle, who was a right of way agent for the city.

Due to the pandemic, Gayle Leonard said Friday was the first time her family had gathered in more than a year.

Eleven boats carried more than 50 family members, friends and coworkers of the woman known as Mary Lou down the Lynnhaven River until they reached a sign marking the reef. They tossed oyster shells into the water and blew bubbles.

Many also waved flamingo-printed flags to honor Mary Lou, and a few coworkers wore blue T-shirts printed with a flamingo drinking a pint of beer. Gayle Leonard said her family has long used flamingos as a symbol to represent her mother and the other Crutsinger women. She said flamingos are doting mothers — strong and giving, just like her mom.

Once they arrived at the reef, Father Rob Cole, a priest from St. John the Apostle Roman Catholic Church, said a prayer. For Cole, the reef symbolizes that new life comes after a tragedy.

Brent James, an oyster restoration coordinator for Lynnhaven River Now, came up with the idea for the reef. Since Mary Lou worked with him on oyster lease projects, he thought it was fitting. The goal of the reef is to repopulate the river with oysters that will filter the water and provide a habitat for other marine life.

Gayle Leonard said having a way to honor her mother meant so much to her, and she wished all of the families had that this weekend. Last year and this year, the city didn’t organize any in-person ceremonies to remember the victims due to the pandemic.

Gayle Leonard would like the city do more to honor the victims than displaying 12 grey planters and a banner sign at the municipal center, along with a grass mural at Mount Trashmore and a sand sculpture on 24th Street.

“For 12 victims who were each an outgoing vibrant citizen leader, a collection of monochrome planters sure seems like a generic afterthought,” Gayle Leonard said.

She said she’s disappointed that the city’s progress on a permanent memorial has been slow — the city plans to hire a consultant this summer to begin the planning process.

“If the city should continue to drag their feet on this, the dedication will likely occur after much of the healing has occurred, and any dedication ceremony would be ripping open the wound for those of us with PTSD,” Gayle Leonard said.

For many who were impacted, the loss remains difficult to process. Those who were in the building, including four workers who were severely injured, are still working through the trauma they experienced.

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Shannon Hughes, a former coworker of Mary Lou’s, said it felt therapeutic to honor her. But she is still has a lot of bad memories from being inside the building when the shooting occurred.

“Everyone keeps saying it is OK to not be OK,” she said. “I am not really OK.”

Elizabeth Chupik, who worked with Mary Lou in the city attorney’s office, said she is reminded of her every time she opens a file that they worked on.

“Two years out — it is still really raw,” Chupik said. “It is an open wound that has a lot of trouble healing.”

Chupik said she and fellow coworkers struggled with not being able to be together during the pandemic and without having a designated place to go to grieve.

“I think some of those things have inhibited healing,” she said. “It is also just hard to get past the horror of what happened. I am not sure when that will ever change.”

Alissa Skelton, 757-995-9043, alissa.skelton@pilotonline.com