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Virginia Beach — Claire Cucchiari-Loring’s mom remembers her daughter as witty, caring and confident — a lover of music who majored in jazz at Old Dominion University.
Her boyfriend shot her dead almost 15 years ago when she was 22 years old. They had been in an abusive relationship for nearly five years before he gunned her down and turned the weapon on himself at a parking lot in Chesapeake’s Greenbrier area.
Kate Loring shared her daughter’s story Monday night at a candlelight vigil in Virginia Beach that honored people like her daughter who have suffered from domestic violence. The event drew a crowd of about 50 and kicked off Domestic Violence Awareness Month, which, according to the Denver-based nonprofit National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has been observed nationwide each October since 1987.
“Let us admit that our unity is, in some ways, a horrifying thing,” Loring said behind the podium in Town Center. “All of us here are unified by the horror that is domestic violence.”
Attendees included members of local nonprofits and city officials like Virginia Beach Mayor Bobby Dyer. Organizers hoped to use the occasion to remind people about the dangers of domestic violence, especially through a global pandemic that experts believe may have led to more incidents of intimate partner abuse. A study released in February by the University of California, Davis suggests that coronavirus lockdowns “appear to have created an ideal environment for increased domestic violence,” according to a summary of the report on the university’s website.
“For over (10) years, I’ve helped organize this event, but this year’s vigil feels like a particularly important opportunity to remind people how dangerous domestic violence is,” Larissa Sutherland, who works with the U.S. Navy to help abuse victims, wrote in a prepared statement.
To avoid spreading the coronavirus, many families stayed home through 2020. For some, according to the UC Davis report’s findings, that “created an ideal environment for increased domestic violence,” which was exacerbated by “extra stress in the COVID-19 pandemic caused by income loss, and lack of ability to pay for housing and food.”
Sutherland said many people’s lives have been at risk because “staying home is more dangerous.”
Domestic violence homicides account for one-third of all homicides in Virginia, according to the Virginia Department of Health. And more than 80% of homicides perpetrated by relatives and intimate partners happened inside a home.
At Monday’s event, Dyer read from a prepared statement by Gov. Ralph Northam which said more than 70,200 survivors called domestic violence hotlines across the commonwealth last year.
Attendees also honored mother and daughter Alicia Hereford and Morgan Bazemore, both of Norfolk, along with John Kilgore, of Virginia Beach.
Family members fought back tears as they told their stories.
Bazemore, 23, was a competitive cheerleader at Maury High School. She loved fashion, a passion she shared with her mother. Hereford, 52, and her daughter were best friends and “inseparable.”
Hereford died defending her daughter after an argument with her boyfriend in March. They were both shot and killed.
Kilgore, 32, was a musician and “accomplished scholar,” his mother Sharon Kilgore said. He dreamed of traveling the world and having his own family with his husband. But when the relationship turned “toxic and violent,” Kilgore filed for divorce.
On Jan. 28, 2019, Kilgore was stabbed and left inside the couple’s burning home.
“Count your blessings (if) it’s never happened to you, but people go through this,” Corey Burdin, a caseworker with the Virginia Beach commonwealth’s attorney office, said behind the podium. “We have to help them.”
Community organizers urge everyone, even if they haven’t been hurt by domestic violence, to speak out against family and intimate partner killings to make a change. They suggest offering nonjudgmental support for survivors, sharing shelter and advocacy resources on social media, and supporting legislation that could protect victims and hold offenders accountable.
The following hotlines offer help:
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Norfolk: YWCA of South Hampton Roads, 757-251-0144, www.ywca-shr.org
Virginia Beach: Samaritan House, 757-430-2120, www.samaritanhouseva.org
Suffolk and Western Tidewater: The Genieve Shelter, 1-800-969-4673, www.thegenieveshelter.org
Hampton and Newport News: Transitions Family Violence Services, 757-723-7774, www.transitionsfvs.org
Chesapeake and Portsmouth: Help & Emergency Response, Inc., 757-485-3384, www.hershelter.com
Gloucester and Williamsburg: Avalon Center, 757-258-5021, www.avaloncenter.org
Sierra Jenkins, 229-462-8895, sierra.jenkins@virginiamedia.com